Imago Therapy for Couples in Texas: Break Free from the Same Arguments

INTRODUCTION

If you and your partner keep having the same argument over and over, if you feel like you're talking but never truly hearing each other, you're not alone. Many couples in Texas find themselves stuck in painful patterns: the same fight about money, the same disconnection after a stressful week, the same feeling of being alone even when you're together.

I'm Chryssee Wright-Ohiri, a licensed therapist and certified Imago relationship therapist at Hartford Place Counseling in Arlington, Texas. For the past seven years, I've worked with couples throughout Texas who love each other but can't seem to stop the cycle of hurt and distance. What I've learned is this: those repeating arguments aren't really about dishes or schedules or who said what. They're echoes of something deeper, often childhood wounds affecting relationships in ways we don't even realize.

Imago therapy offers a different path forward. It's not about assigning blame or declaring someone "right" or "wrong." Instead, Imago relationship therapy helps couples understand the root of their patterns, learn to truly hear each other, and transform conflict into opportunities for healing and deeper emotional connection. If you're tired of the same fights and ready for real change, this approach might be exactly what you've been looking for.

ARTICLE OUTLINE

In this guide to Imago therapy for couples in Texas, you'll discover:

• What Imago therapy is and how it differs from traditional couples counseling
• Why childhood experiences shape your adult relationship patterns
• The Imago Dialogue technique that helps couples stop fighting and start connecting
• How Imago therapy addresses the "same argument" cycle
• What makes working with a certified Imago therapist unique
• How virtual Imago therapy works throughout Texas
• Practical next steps for getting started with Hartford Place Counseling

WHAT IS IMAGO THERAPY?

Imago relationship therapy is a specialized form of couples counseling developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in the 1980s. The word "imago" comes from Latin, meaning "image", specifically, the unconscious image of familiar love that each of us carries from childhood into our adult relationships.

Here's what makes Imago therapy different from traditional counseling: rather than just teaching communication skills or conflict resolution strategies, an Imago therapist helps couples understand why they're having the same fights in the first place. We look at how the patterns formed in childhood show up in your marriage or partnership today, and then we give you tools to heal those old wounds together.

As a certified Imago relationship therapist, I've seen how powerful this approach can be for couples throughout Texas. When partners understand that their reactive behaviors aren't about being difficult or uncaring, but about old survival patterns trying to keep them safe, everything shifts. Suddenly, your partner's withdrawal or defensiveness makes sense. The criticism that feels so hurtful reveals itself as a desperate attempt to be seen and heard.

Imago therapy recognizes that you didn't choose your partner randomly. On an unconscious level, we're drawn to people who carry both the positive and negative traits of our primary caregivers. This isn't a cosmic joke, it's actually an opportunity. Your relationship becomes the place where childhood wounds can finally heal, if you know how to work with them.

WHY CHILDHOOD WOUNDS AFFECT ADULT RELATIONSHIPS

Many couples I work with say things like: "I don't understand why I react so strongly when my partner criticizes me" or "I know I shut down during arguments, but I can't seem to stop." These aren't character flaws, they're relationship patterns that were formed in childhood and are playing out in your adult partnerships.

If you were frequently criticized as a child, you'll likely be hypersensitive to any hint of criticism from your partner. If you experienced emotional or physical abandonment, you might struggle with trust issues or fear of betrayal in your relationships today. If your childhood home felt chaotic or unpredictable, you might try to control everything in your adult life, which can create friction when your partner feels micromanaged or smothered.

The truth is, childhood wounds affecting relationships is one of the most common issues couples face. But here's the hopeful part: when both partners understand where these patterns come from, they can stop taking things personally and start responding with compassion instead of reactivity.

In Imago therapy, we don't just identify these patterns, we actively work to change them. Through the structured Imago Dialogue, couples learn to create a safe emotional space where old wounds can be acknowledged, validated, and ultimately healed. This is the heart of what makes Imago relationship therapy so effective for couples who feel stuck.

THE IMAGO DIALOGUE: A STRUCTURED PATH TO CONNECTION

At the core of Imago therapy is a communication technique called the Imago Dialogue. Developed by Harville Hendrix, this structured approach helps couples move from blame and reactivity to understanding and empathy. As your Imago therapist, I'll guide you through this process until it becomes natural.

The Imago Dialogue has three essential steps:

Mirroring: One partner (the "sender") shares their feelings using "I" statements, while the other partner (the "receiver") mirrors back what they heard without judgment, interpretation, or defensiveness. This simple act of reflecting, "So what I'm hearing you say is...", helps the sender feel truly heard, often for the first time in a long while.

Validation: After mirroring, the receiver validates the sender's perspective: "That makes sense to me, and what makes sense is..." This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything your partner says. It means you acknowledge that their feelings and perspective are valid from their point of view.

Empathy: Finally, the receiver steps into the sender's emotional experience: "I can imagine you might be feeling..." When your partner can imagine and name your feelings, something profound shifts. You feel seen, understood, and no longer alone in your pain.

Then partners take turns, so both people get to be heard and understood. Over time, this structured dialogue becomes a new way of relating, one where both people feel safe enough to be vulnerable and honest.

Many couples come to me saying, "We've tried to communicate better, but it always ends in a fight." The Imago Dialogue works because it interrupts those reactive patterns. When you're focused on accurately mirroring your partner's words, you can't simultaneously be planning your rebuttal or defending yourself. This creates space for real emotional connection to happen.

BREAKING THE "SAME ARGUMENT" CYCLE

Does this sound familiar? You and your partner have the same fight about the same issue, week after week, month after month. Maybe it's about housework, parenting decisions, money, or time together. The details change, but the underlying dynamic stays the same: one person feels unheard, the other feels criticized, and both end up hurt and disconnected.

This is one of the most common reasons couples seek out therapy, and it's exactly where Imago therapy shines. As an Imago therapist working with couples throughout Texas, I help partners understand that these repeating arguments aren't really about the surface issue. They're about deeper needs and wounds that never get addressed.

Here's what's usually happening beneath those same arguments:

• One partner is trying to get an emotional need met that wasn't met in childhood
• The other partner is reacting defensively because the request triggers their own childhood wound
• Both people are using ineffective strategies that made sense in childhood but don't work in adult relationships
• Neither person feels safe enough to be truly vulnerable about what they really need
  
  

Imago relationship therapy helps couples break this cycle by addressing the root
causes. When you understand that your partner's "nagging" is actually a desperate attempt to feel important and valued (needs that weren't met consistently in childhood), you can respond with compassion instead of defensiveness. When your partner understands that your withdrawal isn't rejection but a learned survival strategy from a chaotic childhood home, they can approach you with gentleness instead of criticism.

I've seen couples who were on the brink of divorce transform their relationships through this work. Once they stopped the same argument cycle and started addressing the real needs underneath, everything changed. The arguments didn't disappear completely, conflict is normal in healthy relationships, but they became opportunities for deeper understanding instead of repeated pain.

WHEN RELATIONSHIPS FEEL DISCONNECTED: CREATING EMOTIONAL SAFETY

Another common struggle I hear from couples in Texas is: "We love each other, but we feel so disconnected. We're like roommates, not partners." This emotional disconnection often happens gradually, as small hurts accumulate and partners begin protecting themselves by pulling away.

Imago therapy recognizes that emotional connection requires safety. When we don't feel safe with our partner, when we expect criticism, judgment, or dismissal, we naturally close off. We stop sharing our real feelings. We stop being vulnerable. We create distance to protect ourselves from more pain.

As your relationship therapist, I help couples rebuild that sense of safety through the Imago process. The structured Imago Dialogue creates what Harville Hendrix calls "the space between", a safe relational space where both people can show up authentically without fear of judgment or retaliation.

Here's how we create that safety in Imago therapy:

Intentional dialogue: Using the structured format means no interrupting, no defending, no attacking. Just speaking and being heard, one person at a time.

Validation: Even when you disagree, you learn to validate your partner's experience as real and understandable from their perspective. This doesn't mean you're wrong, it means you can hold space for two different perspectives simultaneously.

Empathy: When your partner can accurately imagine and name what you're feeling, you experience a profound sense of being understood. This emotional attunement is what creates deep connection.

Curiosity over criticism: Instead of "You always..." or "You never...," Imago-trained couples learn to ask, "Can you help me understand what's happening for you?"

Many couples tell me that learning the Imago Dialogue felt awkward at first, formal and even a bit silly. But they also say it was the first time in years they'd had a conversation about a sensitive topic that didn't end in hurt feelings or silent treatment. That safety is what allows emotional connection to return.

WHAT MAKES A CERTIFIED IMAGO THERAPIST DIFFERENT

You might be wondering: can't any couples counselor teach us better communication? While many marriage and family therapists offer valuable support, working with a certified Imago therapist offers something unique.

Becoming a certified Imago relationship therapist requires extensive training beyond standard licensure. I completed rigorous coursework in Imago theory and technique, engaged in supervised practice, and demonstrated competency in facilitating the Imago Dialogue and other core processes. This certification means I'm trained to:

Guide the Imago Dialogue effectively: It's not just about knowing the steps, it's about holding the space, noticing when partners slip into reactive patterns, gently redirecting them, and helping them go deeper into their emotional truth.

Connect present struggles to childhood patterns: As a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago therapist, I'm trained to help couples see how their current relational issues connect to attachment wounds and unmet childhood needs.

Facilitate deeper emotional work: Imago therapy isn't just about communication skills. It's about healing old wounds and creating conscious relationships where both partners can grow.

Work with the relationship itself: Rather than focusing on individual issues, Imago relationship therapy centers "the space between" partners as the primary focus. The relationship becomes the client.

Throughout Texas, couples have access to many counseling services, but finding a certified Imago therapist ensures you're working with someone who has deep expertise in this specific, proven approach. My certification, combined with my training in attachment therapy and schema therapy, allows me to address both the surface patterns and the deeper roots that keep couples stuck.

CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: MOVING FROM REACTIVITY TO INTENTION

One of the most powerful concepts in Imago therapy is the idea of moving from an "unconscious relationship" to a "conscious relationship." Most of us enter partnerships unconsciously, drawn to our partner by chemistry, attraction, and that feeling of "rightness" that we can't quite explain.

But what feels right often isn't about compatibility, it's about familiarity. We're unconsciously attracted to people who will recreate the emotional dynamics of our childhood, both positive and negative. This is where those painful patterns come from.

A conscious relationship is one where both partners understand these dynamics and choose to work with them intentionally. Instead of reacting from old wounds, you respond with awareness and compassion. Instead of trying to change your partner, you recognize them as your greatest teacher and healer.

As your Imago therapist, I help couples make this shift from reactivity to consciousness. This doesn't mean your relationship becomes perfect or conflict-free. It means you learn to work with conflict differently, seeing it not as a sign that something's wrong, but as an opportunity to understand each other more deeply and heal together.

For couples throughout Texas dealing with the stress of modern life, careers, parenting, financial pressures, extended family dynamics, this shift to conscious relationship can be transformative. When you stop expecting your partner to intuitively know what you need and start clearly communicating with the Imago Dialogue, misunderstandings decrease.

 When you understand that your partner's behavior often has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own wounds, you can respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

VIRTUAL IMAGO THERAPY THROUGHOUT TEXAS

At Hartford Place Counseling, I offer virtual Imago therapy to couples throughout Texas. This means whether you're in Arlington, Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, or anywhere else in the state, you can access specialized couples counseling from a certified Imago relationship therapist.

Virtual therapy offers several advantages for busy couples:

Convenience: No commute time means more couples can fit therapy into their schedules. You can join sessions from the comfort of your own home.

Consistency: Bad weather, traffic, or last-minute schedule changes don't have to derail your progress when therapy is virtual.

Accessibility: Couples in smaller Texas cities or rural areas often have limited access to specialized therapists like certified Imago practitioners. Virtual sessions remove that barrier.

Comfort: Some couples find it easier to be vulnerable and honest when they're in their own space rather than an office setting.

The Imago Dialogue works beautifully in a virtual format. I can see both of you on screen, guide you through the process, and help you stay on track when emotions run high. Many couples tell me they forget they're on a video call because the work feels so immediate and real.

I'm licensed to provide counseling services throughout Texas via telehealth, so no matter where you are in the state, we can work together to transform your relationship patterns and create the connection you're longing for.

WHAT TO EXPECT IN IMAGO THERAPY SESSIONS

When couples first reach out to Hartford Place Counseling, they often ask: "What will therapy actually be like?" Here's what you can expect when working with me as your Imago therapist:

Initial consultation: We'll start with a free 15-minute consultation where I learn about your relationship concerns and answer your questions about the Imago approach. This helps us both determine if we're a good fit.

Assessment phase: In our first few sessions, I'll learn about your relationship history, your individual backgrounds, and the patterns that bring you to therapy. We'll also start introducing the Imago Dialogue so you can experience the process.

Active dialogue work: Most sessions focus on facilitating Imago Dialogues between you and your partner. You'll bring topics you need to discuss, frustrations, hurts, desires, and I'll guide you through the structured dialogue process. This isn't me talking to each of you individually; it's you talking directly to each other with my facilitation.

Homework and practice: Between sessions, I'll give you tools and exercises to practice at home. The more you use the Imago Dialogue in your daily life, the more natural it becomes.

Deepening work: As you get comfortable with the basic dialogue, we'll go deeper, exploring childhood wounds, identifying relationship patterns, and working on specific behaviors you want to change.

Integration: Toward the end of our work together, we'll focus on integrating what you've learned so these new patterns become your natural way of relating.

My approach combines Imago therapy with my training in attachment therapy and schema therapy, which allows me to address both current patterns and their deeper roots. I also bring my personal experience and compassionate presence to every session. As I share with all my clients: therapy isn't about perfection, it's about progress. I'll meet you where you are with honesty, warmth, and practical tools that actually work.

BEYOND COUPLES: IMAGO THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS

While Imago therapy is primarily known as a couples approach, it can also help individuals who aren't currently in relationships. If you're single and find yourself repeatedly attracting the wrong partners or repeating unhealthy dating patterns, Imago therapy can help you understand why.

As a licensed professional counselor, I work with individuals throughout Texas who want to understand how their childhood experiences are affecting their relationship choices and patterns. Through this work, you can:

• Identify your "imago", the unconscious image of love you're carrying from childhood
• Recognize why you're drawn to certain types of partners
• Understand your relationship patterns and where they come from
• Heal attachment wounds before entering your next relationship
• Develop healthier communication skills and boundaries
• Break cycles of codependency, fear of abandonment, or emotional unavailability
  
  

Working on these patterns individually can help you attract and build healthier relationships in the future. Many clients tell me that understanding their imago and healing their childhood wounds changed not just their romantic relationships, but also their relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.

IS IMAGO THERAPY RIGHT FOR YOU?.

Imago relationship therapy is effective for couples at many stages: those preparing for marriage, newlyweds adjusting to partnership, long-term couples who've lost their connection, and partners considering separation but want to try one more approach.

Imago therapy may be especially helpful if:

• You keep having the same arguments and nothing changes
• You feel disconnected from your partner despite loving them
• Communication always seems to end in hurt feelings or shutdowns
• You suspect childhood experiences are affecting your relationship
• You're tired of blaming each other and want to understand the deeper patterns
• You want practical tools, not just vague advice to "communicate better"
• You're committed to doing the work of healing and growth together
  
  

That said, Imago therapy isn't appropriate for every situation. If you're experiencing active domestic violence, severe substance abuse, or untreated mental health crises, those issues need to be addressed first before couples work can be safe and effective. As your therapist, I'll help assess whether Imago therapy is the right fit for your situation and make referrals if needed.

TAKING THE NEXT STEP: GETTING STARTED WITH HARTFORD PLACE COUNSELING

If you're ready to break free from repeating patterns and create a relationship that feels safe, connected, and real, I'm here to help. At Hartford Place Counseling, my core values are compassion, connection, healing, and growth. I believe in creating a safe space for honest dialogue and lasting change.

Here's how to get started:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation: Call or text me at (817) 760-3626, or email hope@hartfordplace.com. We'll talk about what you're experiencing and whether Imago therapy feels like the right fit.
   
   
2. Book your first session: If we're a good match, we'll schedule your first virtual therapy session at a time that works for your schedule. Evening and Saturday appointments are available.
   
   
3. Prepare to be honest: The most important thing you can bring to therapy is your willingness to be open, to try new approaches, and to stay committed to the process even when it feels uncomfortable.
   
   
4. Trust the process: Healing doesn't happen overnight. But with consistency, compassion, and the right tools, change is absolutely possible. I've seen it happen for countless couples throughout Texas, and I believe it can happen for you too.
   
   

You don't have to keep repeating the same fights. You don't have to feel alone in your relationship. Working with me as your certified Imago therapist means you'll have the tools, the compassion, and the safe space to transform your patterns and build the kind of love, peace, and connection you truly deserve.

SUMMARY & NEXT STEPS

Imago therapy offers Texas couples a proven path from conflict to connection. By understanding how childhood wounds affect adult relationships, learning the structured Imago Dialogue, and working with a certified Imago relationship therapist, you can break free from painful patterns and create a conscious relationship built on safety, understanding, and mutual healing.

At Hartford Place Counseling, I bring seven years of experience, specialized certification in Imago therapy, and deep compassion to every couple I work with. Whether you're in Arlington or anywhere else in Texas, virtual therapy makes it possible to access this transformative approach from the comfort of your own home.

Change is possible. You are not alone in it. And the relationship you long for, one where you feel heard, understood, and deeply connected, is within reach.

Ready to take the first step? Contact Hartford Place Counseling today at (817) 760-3626 or hope@hartfordplace.com to schedule your free 15-minute consultation. Let's begin the journey toward the love and connection you deserve.